Posted 11 hours ago
Posted 1 day ago
  1. teacher: i’m gonna-
  2. me: mAke iT bENd AnD bREaK, saY A pRAyEr And leT tHE goOD TiMEs roLL [SLOWLY RISE OUT OF SEAT], in cASe God DOesn’t shOW [JUMPS ONTO CHAIR] aND i WaNt thESe WORds tO mAke tHiNGs RIght BUt iT’s tHe WroNGs That mAke thE wORds cOme To LiFe [THROWS DESK ACROSS THE ROOM] “WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?” If tHaT’s thE WOrst yoU Got bETter pUt YOur FinGErs BAck tO thE kEYs [DROP KICKS TEACHER] oNe niGHt anD oNe MorE tImE [BUSTS DOWN DOOR TO ANOTHER CLASS] tHAnkS fOr thE mEMoriEs evEN tHOugH tHEy WERen’t sO GReat [UPPERCUTS A PLAY DOUGH CAN] “He TaSTes liKE yOu oNLy sWEetEr.”
Posted 1 day ago
vriskaaserket:

I WAS DRINKING WATER AND I JUST SPIT IT OUT ON TO MY SCREEN HOLY SHIT

vriskaaserket:

I WAS DRINKING WATER AND I JUST SPIT IT OUT ON TO MY SCREEN HOLY SHIT

Posted 1 day ago

emiliederocksfort:

So I was at work the other day and emptied out a box aND I FOUND THE FUCKING BOX GHOST

Posted 1 day ago

thoracs:

i had to go through 200 pages of my blog to fins this

Posted 1 day ago
Posted 1 day ago

Joke of the day.

wanderoar:

roseonabeach:

frostedsammy:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”

what

Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this

stupidest/most awesome joke ever

(Source: flyingscotsman)

Posted 2 days ago
Posted 2 days ago
Posted 2 days ago

austriea:

the only good way to tell people to stop talking to you

Posted 2 days ago

myotpisgay:

i-make-doodles-lol:

hey look

image

it’s shakespeare.

that was the worst pun ever but im laughing

Posted 2 days ago
Posted 2 days ago

phleps:

LIST OF REALLY SUPER CUTE THINGS:

1. you 

Posted 2 days ago

exeggcute:

my ribbon is untied but oh well

Posted 2 days ago

hairychikubi:

affection is dumb and gross 
drown me in it